Thursday, April 21, 2011

When I quit my job back in February, all signs indicated to me that it was the right thing to do. The scripture readings at church compelled me to trust in God to provide. My friends and family were supportive, understanding I'd been unhappy for a long time. When my notice was finally done, and I was out of there, I quickly found another job and threw my energy into that. There's a lot to be done at my house if we hope to get it on the market and sold. Much of it still undone.

I know how to work for other people. I'm not so good at working for myself.

Some people have trouble relaxing and taking time for themselves, finding time to read, etc. I MAKE time. I take doing nothing to an art form. Most people seeking balance in their lives need to find free time. I'm just the opposite. I need to take the time to get things done around the house, in my life.

I'm really bad at delaying gratification. I KNOW if I work at something I'll see the benefit of it, but I'd rather sit back down and watch tv or play on the computer, yet I'm not getting what I want, which is to be able to move forward in my life. I'm afraid I won't get what I work for. Doing nothing has been my coping mechanism. I can't be disappointed if I don't try to do anything.

It's an act of faith to put forth the effort, and maybe if I don't get back what I originally hope to gain from the effort, I'll get something equally satisfying. I'll have done something.

There's still time for me to get started.

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